Growing up it has highly unlikely that any of us has escaped our childhood without facing some form of trauma. Rather it is emotional, physical, spiritual, or sexual. We have all had our childhood issues. Some of us have been able to deal with it better than others and for the most part have had no adverse effects as a result of whatever childhood trauma you might have faced. Yet for others our lives have been riddled with adverse effects.
My abuse started at an early age and continued until I was eighteen. It is my belief that God gives us the innate ability to survive no matter what the conditions. With my father dying when I was twelve years old and my mother and stepfather being abusive and unable to parent me the way a child should be parented, I was never really allowed to be a child. From a very young age, I was being told to figure it out for myself. I had poor male role models in my life growing up and the way I dealt with adversity was by acting like a spoiled little boy that didn’t get his way. They would bully and manipulate me to get what they wanted, much like a spoiled little boy would do.
As an adult, when I felt threatened or felt like a business deal was going south, what would I do? The only thing I knew how to do. I would throw a temper tantrum or try to manipulate people into using my company or doing what I wanted. Why? Because I had an inner child in me that was scared to death and that inner child was never given the proper tools to deal with adversity or rejection like a gentleman.
Picture this if you will – An actual child throwing the worst tantrum you have ever seen. Now give that child your credit cards, your phone, and your keys. When you lose your tenuous grip on your emotional state, your adult self becomes a passenger, and your inner child self takes the wheel. You can imagine what the outcome might be if this scenario were to be played out.
The good news is you can change. I found a couple of older gentlemen as mentors and they gently and lovingly pointed out my adverse behavior and taught me how to act like a mature husband, father and contributing member of society. If I can change with God’s help, I know you can.
Proverbs 22:6 says: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It is important to know that if you train up your child to act like a kid as an adult, then that is what he/she will do. Conversely, if you train up your child to be a responsible adult and act like a responsible adult, then they will be and act responsible.
My abuse started at an early age and continued until I was eighteen. It is my belief that God gives us the innate ability to survive no matter what the conditions. With my father dying when I was twelve years old and my mother and stepfather being abusive and unable to parent me the way a child should be parented, I was never really allowed to be a child. From a very young age, I was being told to figure it out for myself. I had poor male role models in my life growing up and the way I dealt with adversity was by acting like a spoiled little boy that didn’t get his way. They would bully and manipulate me to get what they wanted, much like a spoiled little boy would do.
As an adult, when I felt threatened or felt like a business deal was going south, what would I do? The only thing I knew how to do. I would throw a temper tantrum or try to manipulate people into using my company or doing what I wanted. Why? Because I had an inner child in me that was scared to death and that inner child was never given the proper tools to deal with adversity or rejection like a gentleman.
Picture this if you will – An actual child throwing the worst tantrum you have ever seen. Now give that child your credit cards, your phone, and your keys. When you lose your tenuous grip on your emotional state, your adult self becomes a passenger, and your inner child self takes the wheel. You can imagine what the outcome might be if this scenario were to be played out.
The good news is you can change. I found a couple of older gentlemen as mentors and they gently and lovingly pointed out my adverse behavior and taught me how to act like a mature husband, father and contributing member of society. If I can change with God’s help, I know you can.
Proverbs 22:6 says: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It is important to know that if you train up your child to act like a kid as an adult, then that is what he/she will do. Conversely, if you train up your child to be a responsible adult and act like a responsible adult, then they will be and act responsible.
- Do you still have a devious inner child in you that wreaks havoc in your life?
- Are you willing to meet and help this inner child become a responsible adult?
- What are you willing to do to begin re-parenting your wounded inner child?
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