When I entered into recovery in 2006 I was living in denial. I was denying that I had any type of a problem. I was denying the fact that I had no part of being abused, I was just a person that had a black cloud over his head. A person that just deserved to be treated poorly. After all my parents divorced when I was just ten-years old. Then God took my father from me when he died of cancer in 1969. However the final blow came when my stepfather began emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually abusing me right after my father died. It must have been me. If only I had been a better son, student or athlete. If only I had been better looking and smarter then none of this would have happened to me. I had to arrive at place of acceptance that what happened to me had absolutely nothing to with me.
Remember this, acceptance does not mean approval. Acceptance is not submission, it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation, then deciding what you're going to do about it.
If we are not accepting people places and things, then we are fighting them. I had to quit fighting everyone and everything. I had to come to with grips that I am a man , and no less of a man by admitting that another person had abused me. The reality is it takes a strong and courageous man to admit his weaknesses, and in doing so he will become stronger. An old-timer once told me, Randy you have the power to change the world within you.” I thought he had lost his mind. However he was absolutely correct. When I quit fighting everything and everyone and arrived at a place of acceptance the world did change. Actually the world didn’t change, it was my perception of the world that changed, and yours can too.
- Are you still living in denial?
- Who and what are still fighting”
- Are you willing to quit fighting everything and everyone?
- What action steps are you going to take to arrive at a place of acceptance?
 Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition p. 417