JOELLES STORY
This story is being posted with the expressed permission of Joelle. Retrieved from the NAASCA FB page. Her story outlines all the classic symptoms of being sexually abused by a family member.
I urge all parents to read this story and learn. Our number one job as parents is to protect our children from harm at all cost. Be part of the solution by hearing your children when they come to you, It's a hard a thing to hear and accept, but 93% of perpetrators or either family members or family friends, and 80% of perpetrators or heterosexual married men with children of their own. Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions without judgement.
A story of abuse
Hello all! I joined this group 3 days ago and I've been meaning to write about my experience for 3 days but it's been hard.
Im the youngest and only girl of 4 siblings. My abuse started when i was in the 5th grade and didn't end until I graduated high school. My dad- the one person who was supposed to protect me from harm- abused me in ways one can only imagine. You name it, physically, emotionally and sexually. The sexual abuse happened so many times, and though each time it was a brief encounter, it felt like eternity.
Everyone in my family knew he was violent. My dad had the worst temper ever. I wouldn't have to say anything to him to make him mad. Even a simple look at him, he would make me regret it later that night and no one knew what he did to me.
How did i cope with it? I took 4 or more showers a day blasting hot water on my body. I figured all the dirtiness would wash off. My skin would always burn but i didn't mind. The pain of the hot water didn't compare to the abuse I was going through. I would cut myself, and I would cry day and night. If I ever got a chance alone, I would use up that time to cry.
I first told my mom when i was in the 5th grade. She brushed it off and said that i was making it up and that i need to stop being a bad girl. I kept wondering what was it that made me a bad girl. I was an honor roll student; I obeyed everyone; I went to church with them every Sunday. I spoke highly of my family members and put on a show to make it seem like every thing was ok.
I mentioned the abuse again when i was in the 7th grade and she (mom) said I needed to 'stop making shit up.' She asked why I'm trying to break up the family and that since I was stupid, fat, and ugly, my dad, nor anyone, would ever want to get close to me. She also pointed out 'no wonder your dad hates you. I hate you , too.'
My mom was very condescending to me. The more she put me down about my intelligence and looks, the more i believed it. I felt so alone . I felt so ashamed. I would cry every single day and get mad at God for making me alive.
From then on, i knew that my mom would never take my side and no matter what, she will always put me down. I've accepted that my parents are who they are and i need to know my limitations with them.
Fast forward to today- After going through years of therapy, I'm starting to feel better. It was a battle and still is. Overcoming childhood abuse is something that I will never get over. I was robbed of my childhood and now I'm suffering the repercussions. I thank God that i was and still am able to live a life without self destruction. Im glad to have found this group and know that I am not alone.
I urge all parents to read this story and learn. Our number one job as parents is to protect our children from harm at all cost. Be part of the solution by hearing your children when they come to you, It's a hard a thing to hear and accept, but 93% of perpetrators or either family members or family friends, and 80% of perpetrators or heterosexual married men with children of their own. Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions without judgement.
A story of abuse
Hello all! I joined this group 3 days ago and I've been meaning to write about my experience for 3 days but it's been hard.
Im the youngest and only girl of 4 siblings. My abuse started when i was in the 5th grade and didn't end until I graduated high school. My dad- the one person who was supposed to protect me from harm- abused me in ways one can only imagine. You name it, physically, emotionally and sexually. The sexual abuse happened so many times, and though each time it was a brief encounter, it felt like eternity.
Everyone in my family knew he was violent. My dad had the worst temper ever. I wouldn't have to say anything to him to make him mad. Even a simple look at him, he would make me regret it later that night and no one knew what he did to me.
How did i cope with it? I took 4 or more showers a day blasting hot water on my body. I figured all the dirtiness would wash off. My skin would always burn but i didn't mind. The pain of the hot water didn't compare to the abuse I was going through. I would cut myself, and I would cry day and night. If I ever got a chance alone, I would use up that time to cry.
I first told my mom when i was in the 5th grade. She brushed it off and said that i was making it up and that i need to stop being a bad girl. I kept wondering what was it that made me a bad girl. I was an honor roll student; I obeyed everyone; I went to church with them every Sunday. I spoke highly of my family members and put on a show to make it seem like every thing was ok.
I mentioned the abuse again when i was in the 7th grade and she (mom) said I needed to 'stop making shit up.' She asked why I'm trying to break up the family and that since I was stupid, fat, and ugly, my dad, nor anyone, would ever want to get close to me. She also pointed out 'no wonder your dad hates you. I hate you , too.'
My mom was very condescending to me. The more she put me down about my intelligence and looks, the more i believed it. I felt so alone . I felt so ashamed. I would cry every single day and get mad at God for making me alive.
From then on, i knew that my mom would never take my side and no matter what, she will always put me down. I've accepted that my parents are who they are and i need to know my limitations with them.
Fast forward to today- After going through years of therapy, I'm starting to feel better. It was a battle and still is. Overcoming childhood abuse is something that I will never get over. I was robbed of my childhood and now I'm suffering the repercussions. I thank God that i was and still am able to live a life without self destruction. Im glad to have found this group and know that I am not alone.