WHAT WE NEED
We feel all alone
1:4 boys and 1:3 girls will be sexually abused before the age of 18, so we are not alone
Why we don’t tell:
Societies Rules for men:
- Don’t be Weak – we should have been able to protect ourselves
- Don’t show Emotion – suck it up, be a man – the emotional pain we live with is overwhelming, yet we feel we can’t say anything
- Don’t ask for Help – if I ask for help they won’t believe me
- If I’m heterosexual they’ll think I’m gay and if I’m gay they’ll think I asked for it and say I deserved it
- Don’t cry – whatever you do don’t cry, I’ll give you something to cry about! Like we really need something us to cry about.
- Don’t show Weaknesses – to admit it happened would show you how weak I am. WRONG, to admit it happened shows how strong and courageous you are
What do we need?
- Someone that will:
- Listen to us and hear us without judgment
- Believe us
- Validate us – that’s when the healing can begin
- Don’t try to fix us- you can’t – just love us
- Support us
- Help us to get the kind of help we need
Don’t force us to talk about it. When we open up – be there for us. When we say we’re done talking for now, honor our request. This is a painful journey and we need to take care of ourselves along the way. Remember this is a life long process, a marathon not a sprint.