What is an Abuse Perpetrator
An abuse perpetrator is anyone who purposely causes harm to another or allows for harm to be done to another. Perpetrators of abuse can be the abuser in domestic violence situations, or they may be parents or caregivers who are causing harm to their children. Perpetrators of abuse might also apply to individuals who abuse animals, the elderly, or the disabled. (Caevp.org)
Who are the Perpetrators?
• 93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their perpetrator, 34.2% of perpetrators were family members, 58.7% were acquaintances and only 7% were strangers to the victim. (Megan’s Law and Crime Victims Center)
• Offenders are overwhelming male, ranging in age from adolescents to elderly (The National Center for Victims of Crime)
• *Nearly 70% of child sex offenders have between 1 and 9 victims; at least 20% have 10 to 40 victims. (Elliott, M., Browne, K., & Kilcoyne, J. (1995). Child sexual abuse prevention: What offenders tell us. Child Abuse & Neglect, 5, 579-594)
• *An average serial child molester may have as many as 400 victims in his lifetime. (http://oldsite.d2l.org/KnowAbout/statistics_2.asp)
• It is estimated that women are the abuser in about 14% of the cases reported (The National Center for Victims of Crime)
• “…Most men who molest little boys are not gay. Only 21 percent of the child molesters we studied who assault little boys were exclusively homosexual. Nearly 80 percent of the men who molested little boys were heterosexual or bisexual and most of these men were married and had children of their own.”
• (Abel, G. (1987, August). “The Child Abuser: How Can You Spot Him?,” Redbook, 100.)”
Abuse of all types occurs on a daily basis in homes all across America and throughout the world. And as you can see above the perpetrators or either family members or friends. Most if not all perpetrators have one thing in common, they are considered to be outstanding citizens of their community, church and family. The people you would least suspect are the ones to suspect the most. My perpetrators were my stepfather a deacon in the church, mother a member in church choir, pastor, youth pastor, and babysitters. People you would not suspect.
Below are a few characteristics of abuse perpetrators:
- Low self-esteem or self-concept, believing themselves to be worthless and unlovable
- Think that solving problems with violence is fine
- Display cruelty to animals
- Has rigid stereotypical gender or racial viewpoints
- Can be overly critical
- Are controlling
- Are impulsive
- Explosive temper or easily angered
- Have problems with excessive annoyance, explosive temper, or becoming easily angered
- Are manipulative—begs for sympathy from others, apologizes with gifts, threatens to take away financial support or the kids, constantly promises to change without showing any follow-through\
- Blame others for their negative emotions and problems
- Have unrealistic expectations of the victim to meet their own emotional or physical needs
- Make threats of violence
- Have a history of childhood physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse
- Have substance abuse issues
- Becoming overly angry and emotional after drinking or using drugs
- Humiliate the victim in front of others
If you even suspect a child is being emotionally, physically, spiritually, or sexually abused, please start asking questions and more importantly, call the authorities, let them sort it out. We must quit sweeping this under the rug and start standing up for our children.
To read more on abuse get my book “Healing The Wounded Child Within” available on Amazon
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