There are a lot of reasons victims of sexual abuse, either male or female, do not say anything. Shame being the granddaddy of them all. I have a suggestion for everyone. Next time you are about to make some unfounded accusation, ask yourself three questions; 1.) Is it true? 2.) Is it absolutely true? 3.) How is this affecting me? I doubt very seriously that anyone can answer number two with an honest yes. If you cannot answer with an honest yes, then I suggest you say nothing. One thing I know for certain is that well-intentioned people spewing the wrong words can cause more harm than good and are better off saying nothing.
I am going to add a fourth question – What inside of you is being stirred up so badly that you have to make derogatory marks towards the victims of sexual abuse? Is it just possible that something similar happened to you and you have not been able to muster the courage to speak up? It’s been my experience that survivors of sexual abuse that have not resolved their own issues, are the ones that will speak out about the victims in a negative way and talk in a very hateful and violent way towards the perpetrators.
I recently engaged in a friendly Facebook conversation with an acquaintance that I do respect. However the conversation just brought to light the naivety and lack of total awareness to how abuse happens on a daily basis, not only in America but also around the world. This person stated that with all the sexual abuse being brought to the press today, it is only actors and democrats that are being accused. This person boldly stated that there are no cowboys being accused.
My response was: with 1:3 girls and 1:4 boys being sexually abused before the age of 18, I am sure there are a few cowboy perpetrators. He told me I was wrong and he stated – “I just went over the most recent list of Hollywood, NYC, and DC pervs. (his words not mine) and it totaled 89 of them - not one cowboy.” I have no interest at this time in discussing national or international stats. Try to keep current.”
Here is the deal, I am very current and his last statement is what is wrong with not only America, but also the world. They see and hear only what the media is broadcasting and suddenly they are all experts on whatever subject is in the headlines at that time.
The statement this person is making is like saying fathers, teachers, uncles, priest, etc. do not molest boys and girls. You see I only look at the big picture and that is the picture that has countless boys and girls being molested on a daily basis. Yet society only turns a blind eye to them until it happens to a politician, actor or some other famous person. Then and only then the whole world is interested, that is until it slips away into the camouflaged background of Hollywood or our Government.
Sexual abuse is happening at a pandemic rate in our world – 1:3 girls and 1:4 boys. Its secret destroys the lives of boys who become men and girls who become women. It deteriorates the person God intended them to be. It destroys self-esteem, trust, marriages and families. We cannot stop abuse from happening. However, we as a collaborative people can do our part to educate the masses. Our prisons are filled with thousands of men and women who have been sexually abused and our streets are filled with thousands of boys and girls that have been abused and continued to be abused in some form or another. Why? Because that is likely what they feel they deserve and/or it is the only way they know how to get what they perceive to be love.
I want to ask if we can please start talking about the Stigma of Sexual Abuse and more importantly seeking and getting treatment. Call the Courageous Healers Foundation and start the conversation.
Become part of the solution by investing in the education of the masses. Support Courageous Healers Foundation by going to www.courageoushealers.org and donating. Thank you in advance for your contribution.